365 Project – Day 206 – Enough Is Enough

Enough is enough. I’ve had it. I’m done. In general, I am not the type to complain. As the creator of the 5 Minute Rule (if you have no clue what I’m talking about, go back and read the explanation HERE), it would be the worst kind of hypocrisy if I did a lot of complaining, so I tend to err on the side of letting things that might bother most people just roll off my back. But, even the most easygoing, even keel people have their limit, and today, I hit mine. So, if you’ll indulge me, I would like to use my five minutes and get a few things off my chest.

It has been a helluva few months around here. It’s always hard moving to a new place, trying to get settled in, trying to establish a routine, but lately it seems like just when things are looking like they might settle down, something else happens that throws us off kilter. Getting sick, Grandma passing, Dad’s accident, trying to get ready for and get through Grandma’s estate sale, trying to rebuild a business that was just starting to take off before the move,  trying to find a good work/life balance so I can get things done, but still feel like I am spending quality time with my husband and daughter, a house in AZ that we can’t sell, a flooding basement in our rental house, finding a house that we love and then watching it slowly slipping out of our reach, car repairs, more car repairs that blindsided us with a big fat bill, and tonight a car that won’t start.

I feel like I’m losing my mind here.

The world is full of so many bigger problems that I feel downright guilty even pretending for one moment that any of this is worth getting stressed over. But I am stressed, because I’m getting to the point where starting to feel like this shit is never going to end. It just keeps coming, kicking my legs out from beneath me just when I feel like I’ve found the strength to stand again.

I’m having a good cry tonight. If you know me at all, you know what a rare occassion that is. But tonight, I’m just too stressed out and too tired to hold it in any longer.

I’m tired of turning on the news and hearing about how our country is in the toilet because a bunch of self-serving, money-grubbing, no good politicians have spent decades lining their own pockets as they rob the American people blind. I’m tired of watching prices rise on everything from gas to groceries, while our paychecks continue to decline. I’m tired of counting our pennies and making sacrifices to live within our means while professional football and baseball players complain about their salaries, get in trouble with the law (without really getting in any trouble at all), and team owners continue to jack up prices at the stadiums to the point where the average American family damn near has to take out a 2nd mortgage just to attend a game. I’m tired of rotten people like Casey Anthony and Michael Vick and O.J. Simpson literally getting away with murder and then getting endorsements and book deals and big fat paychecks while perfectly good, law-abiding citizens bust their asses just to get a brief glimpse of that legendary American Dream.

Most of all, I’m tired of people not giving a shit about anything but themselves. These days, we are living in a very selfish, self-centered world. It’s all about me, me, me, me. How is it going to affect me? What belongs to me? What are you going to do for me? If it doesn’t somehow directly impact me, then it is not my problem. Admirable qualities like honesty and integrity and empathy are slowly becoming extinct. It’s a sad world we’re living in when people stop caring about each other.

Believe me, I could keep going about the things that have been grating my poor nerves raw lately, but I’m hitting the end of my five minutes, and going on any longer will only mire me deeper in this stressed out rut I’m finding myself in right now. Life is far too short to be unhappy for long. And so, I’ll close my eyes and I’ll take a deep breath and I’ll remind myself that for all the shit I’ve had thrown at me lately, there are a million little blessings that make it all worthwhile. And I’ll look at my droopy-faced dog sleeping on the couch, or my daughter giggling on the floor, or my husband singing  along with some random song on his Ipod in a loud falsetto, and I’ll let the tension begin to slip away because, in the end, nothing matters except enjoying as much time as you can with the people you love the most.

Thank you for indulging my rant tonight. It feels good just to get some of it off my chest.

Tonight’s 365 Project entry is dedicated to all of the people out there who are feeling the pain like I have lately. Take your 5 minutes, let it out, and then refocus on what makes you happy.