Something in my yard is out to get me.

I sneezed over 78 times today. After that, I lost count. And leave it to my 2-year-old to laugh and make fun of me, running around the house and mimicking me while I’m in the midst of a violent sneezing fit. Little turd.

Apparently, I’m allergic to something. Bad part is, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like a game of nature-themed Clue outside right now, trying to figure out who’s the culprit. In my yard alone there are over ten varieties of tulips, seven varieties of daffodils, eight varieties of roses, handrangeas, various ornamental grasses, a peach tree, a magnolia tree, a lilac bush, grape vines, ornamental pear blossoms, and several dozen other plants and assorted foliage that I can’t even begin to identify. Hell, the only reason I knew the items on the list above is because the former owners left behind a list of some of the things they planted.

And right now, everything is blooming.

I didn’t always have allergies. Growing up, I never remember having any issues. Except for the occasional cold or flu, and one bout of mono that landed me in the hospital for three days the summer before my sophomore year of high school, I was a pretty healthy kid. I never even had the chicken pox!

It wasn’t until my college years that I began to suffer seasonal allergies. Just about the time that the prettiest flowers started blossoming, my sinuses would revolt and close up tighter than a Venus Flytrap. Boy, I tell ya, there’s nothing sexier than a girl whose face is perpetually damp from the steady flow of liquid draining from both eyes and nostrils. Add a layer of redness around the nose, bloodshot eyes, and enough phlegm to fill a small bathtub and I start looking like one of the animated corpses from The Walking Dead.

I thought it must be something on the East coast–some sort of tree or flower that I just wasn’t used to, sending my sinuses into overdrive–but even now, after moving to Arizona and settling back in Nebraska, the allergies return like clockwork every spring.

Damn you beautiful foliage! I love you, but my clogged head hates you. Can’t we strike a truce?

Until then, I’ll pop a Zyrtec (no more make-me-jittery-and-keep-me-all-night-clenching-my-teeth-ClaritinD for me thanks), and pray that I can make it through another spring without sneezing so hard I pop a blood vessel.

Wish me luck.

About the Author Lori Romano

I am a writer, photographer, wife, mother, dog owner, half-assed housekeeper and a self-proclaimed coffee and chocolate addict. One day, I will write a book.

20 comments

      1. How can I say no to that? 🙂 Thanks for dropping by. Now, I’m off to stalk your blog and learn more about your travels! I’m a sucker for beautiful pictures and travel stories.

      1. Your comment sounded familiar. I’ve got a two and half year old terror. I have at times referred to her when talking to friends in a very similar manner. Lovingly, of course. 🙂

  1. It is amazing how you can get such great shots of subjects that make you sneeze. What dedication but then again, what subjects. Lovely photos. I am sending you some good vibes across through the screen. I hope you feel better. 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for the sweet compliments and the good vibes! I’m feeling better already! 🙂 My sinuses may be taking a beating, but man, I just have to look around at all the brightly-colored beauty and breathe in the sweet perfumed air, and it’s all worth it! 🙂

  2. Love reading your blog daily! Your flowers are beautiful, to bad you body doesn’t think the same! Get to feelin’ better soon!

    1. Thanks! So glad you’re enjoying the blog and the photos! I’m having fun with both! 🙂 The yard is gorgeous, and a few sniffles and violent sneezing episodes are definitely worth it in my book!

    1. Thanks! I’ve gotten so many beautiful photos in the yard so far, but boy it has wreaked havoc on my sinuses! Definitely worth it though, to be surrounded by so much beauty!

  3. I’m sorry you’re feeling so rotten! I can’t wait to see everything in full bloom. It will be beautiful. Enjoy!

  4. Now I know why they created L.O.L. Because when I read that first line I really did laugh out loud! It’s spring. EVERYTHING is out to get me. In fact there are only 2 months out of the year where I get a tiny reprieve. The weirdest part? I did not have allergies until I stopped drinking. I told this to my (snake oil salesman) allergist, former allergist, who told me I should start drinking again, because there was nothing else I could do but get shots for a couple of years and cross my fingers.
    SNEEZE.
    The Cockroach

      1. AhhAHAHHAhAH. After getting all those old fashioned (haven’t they come up with a better way?) pokes on the back and spending a thousand bucks, I’m allergic to….everything bleeping outside! But at least it’s not my cats.

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