Written by Tonight, my friends, I’m here to open your eyes to one of the biggest lies ever sold to the American people…
Hershey’s Air Delights.
Look, if there’s one thing I know, it’s chocolate. I’m not going to pretend I’m the end-all, be-all authority or anything, but I know the good from the bad, and I definitely know when I’m being played.
In 2011, Hershey debuted a new concept–aerated chocolate–a trend that has apparently been popular in Europe for quite some time. According to company spokesperson Anna Lingeris, “Air Delight Chocolate was crafted for those looking for a unique and lasting chocolate taste experience. Its light and airy texture causes the chocolate to melt with ease over your tongue, making it the ultimate chocolate indulgence.”
Watch the Air Delights commercials and listen to their campaigns and you’d think that Hershey had stumbled upon the Holy Grail of chocolate innovation. Hell, the way they sell it, you’re to believe that this new bubble-filled chocolate experience will not only cure cancer, AIDS, and erectile dysfunction, but that it just might make you smarter, sexier, and more athletic in the process. Here’s a little tinfoil wrapped piece of heaven on earth.
Oh yeah Hershey? I call bullshit.
Here’s the simple truth people…
Other than a few air bubbles pumped into the center of your chocolate bar before it set in the mold and packaged for shipping, there is nothing–NOTHING–different.
No new ingredients.
No slight flavor modifications.
No changes whatsoever.
And while Hershey would have you believe that the aeration makes the chocolate creamier and more satisfying, the truth of the matter is that they’re charging you the exact same price and giving you roughly 10-15% less product.
Know what what means folks? You just paid for air. You forked over your hard earned money to Hershey and they may as well have just farted in your hand.
So get out there people. Warn your loved ones. Don’t let them be duped by those greedy SOB’s over at Hershey with their faux-chocolate aerated bullshit. Friends don’t let friends eat shitty chocolate.
And since I’m stuck with what’s left in the package, I guess I’ll make the best of a sad situation and make me some s’mores, because nothing can brighten your day faster than s’mores…even if they’re made with aerated chocolate.
Lori Romano 
This was such a good one- totally original (and true!)
Thanks Jenn! For some reason I was really struggling with the “faux” theme. Then last night, I was craving some chocolate and I looked in my pantry and just got mad. 🙂
“Friends don’t let friends eat shitty chocolate.” Amen!
ps. I had 8, count em’ 8 regular H kisses yesterday and although not the best chocolate on the planet earth, they were delicious. They did melt in my mouth BUT….(yes there is ALWAYS a BUT), if Nutella would get their shit together and do a Nutella kiss, that, my friend, would be the ultimate kiss to my lips!
Haha! So true Michele! Nutella chocolate bars would be A-FREAKIN-MAZING!! My favorite is Cadbury Eggs. I go on a buying binge every Easter. I tell myself I’m going to stock up when they’re on sale the day after Easter and ration them out through the rest of the year, but they never last more than a month. Doesn’t help that my hubby and now my kid like them too. We have a serious problem in this house. 🙂