Elf on the Shelf 2013 – Day 3

Mmmm…chocolate. It’s pretty much a toss up who’s the biggest chocoholic in the house. I probably win, but only by a short margin. Cadence is as fond of chocolatey treats as her Momma, and Steve…well, he may not crave chocolate the way Cadence and I do, but he can sure put a hurtin’ on a buttermilk chocolate cake, and the two of us often go egg for egg during the Easter season when Cadbury Creme Eggs are in stock.

We found out this morning that Cosette is one of us.

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I half-expected Cadence to be a little peeved that the mischievous little elf apparently raided her Halloween candy (a.k.a. Mom and Dad were getting so stressed out by the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead that they needed a little chocolate to calm them down and the only thing in the house was the leftover Halloween candy–go ahead, judge us, but if you are a fan of the show, you’ll understand). Yet, Cadence didn’t seem to mind, especially when she noticed that Cosette had only taken one smile bite of the Hershey bar and left Cadence the rest to eat for breakfast.

Nothing like starting the first Monday back from vacation with a bit of chocolate for breakfast. Yeah, that’s how we roll around here.

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Project Life 365 – Day 28 – Inside

It’s a Dear Lord I Need Chocolate kind of day around here..

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Go ahead, judge me if you want, but it’s a cold, dreary Monday and I just spent the last few hours cooped up in the house, immersed in my first GRE Study Session.

I did math, people. Freakin’ algebra. And if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to go and pick Cadence up from preschool, I probably would have bypassed the Rolos and went straight for some tequila shots to help calm my nerves instead.

At least good sense prevailed…too bad that’s not a section on the GRE.

Now I know how my husband has been feeling, spending the past several weeks poring over GMAT study guides, cursing the English language, and trying to memorize grammar rules to help him with the tricky sentence corrections.

Too bad we can’t just splice our brains together when we go take these tests. Man, we’d have it made.

But, the things in life that are really worth it are never easy. So, we’ll just keep busting our butts and taking steps toward our goals until we get there. And we will get there, because neither of us is the type to let one little annoying test stand in the way.

And now that I’ve had my chocolate fix, it’s time to get back to work.

Project Life 365 – Day 24 – Faux

Tonight, my friends, I’m here to open your eyes to one of the biggest lies ever sold to the American people…

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Hershey’s Air Delights.

Look, if there’s one thing I know, it’s chocolate. I’m not going to pretend I’m the end-all, be-all authority or anything, but I know the good from the bad, and I definitely know when I’m being played.

In 2011, Hershey debuted a new concept–aerated chocolate–a trend that has apparently been popular in Europe for quite some time. According to company spokesperson Anna Lingeris,  “Air Delight Chocolate was crafted for those looking for a unique and lasting chocolate taste experience. Its light and airy texture causes the chocolate to melt with ease over your tongue, making it the ultimate chocolate indulgence.”

Watch the Air Delights commercials and listen to their campaigns and you’d think that Hershey had stumbled upon the Holy Grail of chocolate innovation. Hell, the way they sell it, you’re to believe that this new bubble-filled chocolate experience will not only cure cancer, AIDS, and erectile dysfunction, but that it just might make you smarter, sexier, and more athletic in the process. Here’s a little tinfoil wrapped piece of heaven on earth.

Oh yeah Hershey? I call bullshit.

Here’s the simple truth people…

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Other than a few air bubbles pumped into the center of your chocolate bar before it set in the mold and packaged for shipping, there is nothing–NOTHING–different.

No new ingredients.

No slight flavor modifications.

No changes whatsoever.

And while Hershey would have you believe that the aeration makes the chocolate creamier and more satisfying, the truth of the matter is that they’re charging you the exact same price and giving you roughly 10-15% less product.

Know what what means folks? You just paid for air. You forked over your hard earned money to Hershey and they may as well have just farted in your hand.

So get out there people. Warn your loved ones. Don’t let them be duped by those greedy SOB’s over at Hershey with their faux-chocolate aerated bullshit. Friends don’t let friends eat shitty chocolate.

And since I’m stuck with what’s left in the package, I guess I’ll make the best of a sad situation and make me some s’mores, because nothing can brighten your day faster than s’mores…even if they’re made with aerated chocolate.

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Elf on the Shelf – Day 5

Last night was a big night for our dear Cosette–her introduction to Husker football.

Steven always says that marrying someone from Nebraska is like marrying into the Mafia. We’re serious about our football around these parts, and we’re fiercely loyal fans. True Nebraska fans bleed Husker red. Win or lose, we take great pride in our team. We tune in, without fail, every Saturday. We respect our opponents and cheer on our boys. We honk and high-five and holler “Go Big Red!” whenever we spot fellow Husker fans on the street.

Last night, we tuned into the Nebraska-Wisconsin game, knowing that it was going to be a tough one. Let’s be honest–it’s been a pretty tough season. Being leaders in categories like turnovers, opponents points off turnovers, and penalties doesn’t really bode well for a team’s season. Yet somehow, we’ve been able to pull off some pretty incredible come-from-behind wins and march our way into the Big 10 Championship game for a chance to play in the Rose Bowl. After barely beating Wisconsin earlier in the season, I’m not sure how anyone would have thought that it would be an easy win.

What we didn’t expect, however, was the total slap-in-the-face shellacking that Wisconsin so deftly delivered. It was an ugly, ugly game, but, as always, we watched through ’til the last second ticked off the clock. And while we Husker fans may not be smelling roses in our immediate future, we’re still proud of our team.

Poor Cosette, though. What a way to be inducted into the Husker family! While I needed a stiff margarita to get me through the game, she drowned her sorrows in chocolate, and covered her eyes when she couldn’t stand to watch.

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And since Cadence had to go to bed before the game ended, Cosette made sure to leave a little something for her on the table so she wouldn’t feel left out…

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So, when Cadence woke this morning, she hustled Electra down the stairs, and then immediately went to check on Cosette and see if she’d made it back safely from her nightly North Pole trip.

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Cadence spotted Cosette immediately and greeted her with a warm “Good Morning!”

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And she was tickled pink when she found the note and the candy Cosette had left just for her.

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And after all of this, we’ve come to a very important realization…Even after an evening of ugly football, a little chocolate therapy goes a long way! 🙂

365 Project – Day 297 – The Best and Worst Halloween Candy

As a self-proclaimed chocolate addict, it shouldn’t really surprise you that I would pretty much put any chocolate candy at the top of my list of Halloween favorites. Snickers, Milky Way, Whoppers, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Baby Ruth, Twix, Kit Kat, Mounds, Butterfinger, M&M’s, Almond Joy, Milk Duds. At the end of the night, I would gladly trade just about anything in my trick-or-treat bag for something chocolate. Skittles? Take them. Starburst? You can have them. Nerds? Twizzlers? Smarties? They’re all yours.

The only non-chocolate item I would never trade is a Caramel Apple Pop. I am addicted to those suckers. All the goodness of a caramel apple without all the mess. I’m pretty sure there was a period during high school where I ate at least one Caramel Apple Pop a day. I’m still sporting all of my own healthy teeth, so at least my addiction hasn’t had any lingering side effects.

Yet, with all the good candy out there, Candy Corn somehow survives, and to me, that is one of the great mysteries of the universe because, let’s face it, that stuff is nasty. Eating Candy Corn is like eating lightly sugared candle wax, only sugared candle wax would probably leave you behind a slightly less offensive aftertaste.

The best description of Candy Corn I ever heard came from comedian Lewis Black. So, for tonight, I’ll leave you with his analysis of the great Candy Corn mystery.

Tonight’s 365 Project entry is dedicated to all of our favorite, and not so favorite, Halloween treats. Tell me, what tops your Best/Worst Lists?

365 Project – Day 196 – Nutella

My name is Lori, and I’m a chocoholic. Make no mistake though, I am not looking to give up my habit anytime soon. However, in the interest of wanting to get in better shape and lose some weight, I realize that my chocolate habit might just need a little attention.

Now, I’ve never been one to binge on chocolate. I’ve never been able to sit down and eat an entire chocolate cake or a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream in one sitting. Heck, even trying to polish off a King Size candy bar makes my stomach hurt.  However, I am the type that needs a little chocolate fix every day or I get a little agitated.

Enter Nutella.

I don’t know how I managed to go 30 years without ever trying this stuff. Okay, so maybe I do. I remember seeing the jars on the grocery store shelves and turning up my nose. Hazelnuts? Gross. (At least I always thought they were). Chocolate spread in a jar? Gotta be nasty, right?

 Wrong.

Created by Italian pastry maker Pietro Ferrero in the 1940’s as an alternative to traditional chocolate which was in short supply during WWII, Nutella has enjoyed great success and popularity, and is sold in over 70 countries today. This smooth, creamy hazelnut spread is a healthier alternative to regular chocolate, and is every bit as delicious. Even a die hard chocoholic like me can be perfectly happy choosing Nutella to satisfy a chocolate craving.

Skeptical? I dare you to try a bite and see if it doesn’t change your mind.

It wasn’t until my sister Whitney offered me a bite of a graham cracker with some Nutella spread on top that I finally got up the nerve to try it. Oh Nutella, where have you been all my life?

Of course, Cadence decided that she wanted to try some as soon as she saw me eating it. Unfortunately, all I had at the moment was my camera phone, but even so, I think the photo definitely gives you a pretty good idea how much Miss Cadence enjoyed her snack…

Tonight’s 365 Project is dedicated to Ferrero’s exquisite creation–Nutella. Mmm…Nutella.

 

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