Sometimes Mondays require acrobatics.
And coffee, lots of coffee.
This morning was one of those mornings–one you read about on comedic parenting blogs or see played out on a primetime sitcom where you laugh along at the utter ridiculousness of the chain of events while simultaneously nodding because, well, you’re sorta feeling like you’re having deja vu. It’s the kind of morning where, right there in the middle of it, you don’t know whether it’s more appropriate to crack up laughing or squirm uncomfortably in your seat.
I want to preface this by saying we have three morning types in the Romano house:
You can probably imagine that some mornings are hard in our house. Between the dog acting like a starving lunatic, Stevie and Cadence hustling to get things done, and Henry and I needing a few extra minutes to get ourselves pulled together, there’s a bit of chaos. And those mornings when I hit the snooze button a few extra times (like this morning) are the worst because suddenly everyone is up and forced to scramble.
Don’t get me wrong, I can scramble when I need to. But I usually do my best work when I’m at least half-caffeinated. And Henry…well, Henry usually does his best work when we give him enough time and space to just sort of wander around without any sort of agenda for 10-15 minutes.
No such luck today.
Henry went to bed just after 7:00 pm last night, but I still had to wake him up when I went in his room at 6:10 this morning.
Already a bad omen.
He was okay as I got him changed, even chatting a bit and smiling as he downed a big cup of milk.
Cadence was excited to show him the shenanigans the elves had been up to–taking selfies and hanging printed copies of the pictures all over the house. Henry thought the first photo or two were funny. Then he started to get a little wary (probably about the time his little brain started working out that if the elves hung those photos all over, that means they were running all around the house like creepers while he slept).
I was trying to get him some breakfast, and Stevie was trying to usher him into the living room to get his socks and shoes on so he was ready, and suddenly Henry was having none of it. He started gearing up for a tantrum and swatting at Stevie.
So, Stevie calmly carried him over to a timeout spot, but just as he was trying to sit him down, Henry threw himself backward and head butted the wall. That just pissed him off. And he decided to yell at the top of his lungs to let us know how pissed off he was, but he ended up overdoing it, gagging, and puking up a good portion of the milk he just drank all over himself and the living room carpet.
That was about the time I was wishing there was some sort of magic morning do-over button.
But like most 2-year-old tantrums, it was there and gone. Once we got H-man cleaned up and changed, got a little breakfast in his belly, and then off to school with a banana muffin (which he is currently obsessed with and would eat a half-dozen a day if we’d let him), he was totally fine. Me, on the other hand…I needed a few quiet moments to myself, a cup of coffee, a little writing. And then all was right with the world and I was ready to start my day.
Happy Monday everyone!
The kids woke up this morning and found the elves in exactly the same spot as the night before.
I know what you’re thinking…”Damn Stevie & Lori, you guys are so lame you forgot to move the elves on Day 2!”
Not so fast. See, the elves gave some very specific specific instructions that the kids were supposed to fill the donation box for Santa. You know what that means…Yep, we’re totally stretching this “I guess the elves aren’t moving until the box is full” business as long as possible.
And tonight, we totally railroaded Cadence into going through all of her toy bins and organizing her room.
I don’t even want to talk about how many dirty socks we found in the process.
Parents = 1
Unsuspecting children = 0
You know, these elves might be starting to grow on me. 😉
I’m not even sure how Stevie and I have managed to survive the 2016 Season of the Elves. I’m not gonna lie, folks, when it comes to being creative and remembering to move the elves every night, we are big ol’ failures this year.
Twice, TWICE, we completely spaced and just plain forgot to move the elves. The first time, they were on the kitchen counter chowing down on a bag of candy corn. Nonna and Grandma Kay came to town for a visit, and we were having too much fun and staying up to late hanging out with them that we totally forgot to reposition Cosette and Leo before we went to bed. Of course, Cadence found them immediately the next morning, and we were saved by the fact that our kid has an amazing imagination and swore the elves had spent two whole nights eating candy corn because she was sure the bag looked even emptier.
“Cosette and Leo have been eating candy corn for two days straight! Geez!”Cadence proclaimed. “I guess they like it as much as me and Daddy do.”
Why yes, Cadence, yes they do.
Elf Fail #2 happened just this morning. It hit me around 6:30 a.m., just about the time I was ready to hop in the shower, that we had forgotten to move the elves again (and I only remembered because I heard Cadence downstairs talking to Stevie). I said a silent prayer that he’d managed to get downstairs and notice the elves were in the exact same spot and move them quickly before Cadence had a chance to wander downstairs. (And it would really help if Cadence was one of those regular kids who actually sleeps in past 7:00 a.m. on stay-home days).
No such luck.
When Stevie came upstairs a few minutes later, I asked if he’d moved the elves, and I watched his eyes widen in horror when he realized we’d forgotten the damn elves…again.
“Crap! No, I didn’t,” Stevie said, but he was hopeful. “You know, I don’t think she saw them yet this morning. She’s down there playing video games in the living room. I bet we can move them quick.
And suddenly I was hopeful too.
“Yeah, let’s do it. I’ll distract her, you move them.”
“What am I supposed to do with them?”
“I don’t know. Shove them in the Christmas tree or something.”
And so we did. I pretended like I’d come downstairs to turn the volume down on the TV while Stevie crept into the den to sneak the elves onto the Christmas tree.
Or so we thought, right up until my mom arrived to watch the kids and I was getting ready to leave for work and Mom asked Cadence where the elves were.
“Oh, they’re still by the fireplace. They didn’t move last night,” she called from the living room.
Mom looked at the empty spot in the front of the fireplace and then at me.
“We forgot. We moved them this morning,” I whispered.
“Uh…no they’re not,” I called out to Cadence. “Are you sure they didn’t move?”
Cadence hopped up out of the chair and came running.
“What?!” she hollered. “What the heck? I just saw them! I swear!”
She ran around the room, looking for the elves, until she finally spied Leo perched in her Christmas tree.
“Hey!” she cried. Then she pointed to the top of the big tree. “There’s Cosette too! What the heck?”
“That’s crazy, Cadence,” I said, shaking my head. “They must be tricking you.”
“Yeah!” she said. “Cosette and Leo are really tricking me! They snuck and moved while I was in the other room! I wish I could have seen them move. Wait until Henry sees!”
And just like that, the little bubble of relief that had been building as I thought to myself that we only have two nights of this elf business left burst wide open as I realized that we likely have another five or six years of it ahead of us. Because Cadence is still more excited about the elves’ antics than she is just about anything else at Christmas time, and Henry is already showing signs of being an elf fanatic. He looks for them every morning as soon as he gets up, and he points and laughs at the silly things he finds them doing. And even when they are sitting on the floor or perched in a spot low enough for him to reach them, he knows not to touch them for fear he will ruin their magic. So he just points and turns to look at us and he smiles and waits to see what these crazy elves will do next.
And all I know is that next year, we’re going to have to seriously up our game.
We should start planning now.
And since I’ve been so very bad about blogging the elf adventures each day, here is a recap of what they’ve been up to this past week…
Merry Christmas everyone!
I can’t believe I missed a day of photos, and such a good day too! We woke Tuesday morning and found the crazy elves had wrapped toilet paper around themselves and around the ceiling fan in our upstairs hallway, and they were swinging around on the fan like a carnival ride. Here’s a terrible sketch to help you visualize (take note of Cadence’s epic bedhead–I don’t know what that girl does in her sleep but her hair looks like it has been tied in knots by a legion of demons during the night).
Wednesday morning, Cadence woke to find Cosette and Leo just hanging out on the kitchen counter. We thought maybe they’d taken a night off from their shenanigans, but then Cadence fired up her Daddy’s iPad and we we quickly discovered that our sneaky little elves had been having way too much fun taking selfies. They even set their favorite as the screensaver.
This morning, we don’t know exactly what happened to make Buzz Lightyear decide these elves needed to be disciplined, but we woke to find Buzz had taken matters into his own hands and put the elves in a serious timeout.
Well done, Buzz. Keep those two in line.
Just because I’ve gotten too busy to post, it doesn’t mean the elves’ shenanigans have let up at all. In fact, Cosette and Leo have been in rare form recently. Here are the latest happenings around here…
First, Cosette and Leo decided it was time for Cadence and Henry to write down their Christmas lists for Santa. Cadence asked for a locket necklace and a princess coloring book. Henry…well the kid is currently in love with R2D2 and Mickey Mouse, so we’ll see what Santa brings him.
After jetting off to the North Pole to deliver the lists to Santa, Cosette and Leo decided to stay an extra night and get rested up before heading back here to Nebraska to spend the final few weeks before Christmas keeping an eye on the crazy Romano kids. And after they returned, they were right back up to their silly antics. They’ve been playing with Henry’s toys…
They polished off a bag of Oreos after everyone went to bed…
They took a ride around the living room on the Roomba…
They made themselves a midnight popcorn snack…
And they had a little fun this morning after I ran out of time and didn’t get a picture drawn for Cadence’s daily lunch note…
There’s no rest for the wicked, folks. How many more days ’til Christmas?