Four Years Ago Today (part 4)

Just before 1:00 a.m., a crowd of nurses burst into the room and turned on the lights. My eyes had never left the monitor, as the numbers jumped and fell erratically with each contraction. Somehow, I thought if I stopped looking, even for a moment, I might lose her.

“Okay, dear, we’re here to get you prepped for surgery,” one of the nurses said, matter-of-factly. “The baby has had enough. It’s time to get her out of there.”

Steven sat up on the couch and listened as the nurses talked us through the procedure, letting us know what to expect. It was a flurry of activity. The next thing I knew, I was being wheeled out of the room, leaving Steven to change. He would have to wait in the hallway outside the operating room until after the anesthesiologist administered my spinal.

The operating room was so bright and white that I had to close my eyes for a moment. Sitting on the table, the anesthesiologist told me to lean forward and hug the pillow in my lap. There was a small pricking sensation in the middle of my back, and then what felt like a sudden jolt of electricity running down my spine and into my legs. The doctors told me to lie back on the table, and stretch my arms out straight from my sides, where they were secured to the table with straps.

By the time Steven entered the room, the lower half of my body was completely numb. Steven pulled his stool up near my head, after the doctors explained that was the best place to sit if he wasn’t interested in seeing what was going on behind the curtain during the surgery.

Everything seemed to happen all at once. Steven and I gave each other nervous smiles as we listened to the doctors talking on the other side of the curtain. The spinal medication had done its job. I wasn’t feeling much of anything at all, except perhaps the slightest sensation of pressure in my abdomen.

“This is it,” the anesthesiologist said suddenly, tapping Steven on the shoulder. “Stand up if you want, and you’ll see your daughter being born.”

From the moment we first got the positive pregnancy test, Steven adamantly insisted that he wanted to see absolutely nothing in the delivery room. Hell, just watching the videos in the childbirth class we’d taken had traumatized him so much that to this day, he still shudders just thinking about it, so I was shocked when he actually stood up and peered over the curtain.

“Uh-oh,” the doctor said loudly, and Steven sat right back down again, his eyes wide. I watched as the color drained from his face.

“You okay?” I asked. He nodded, but didn’t speak.

I gasped as there was suddenly an enormous amount of pressure on my chest. It felt as though one of the doctors had climbed up and was sitting on my ribcage. I couldn’t breathe, and I was being rocked back and forth on the table. Steven squeezed my hand.

“You okay?” He asked. I gasped and nodded.

“Nothing to worry about,” the doctor said from behind the curtain. “Looks like the reason Baby Girl was delayed was because her head was stuck, but she’s comin’ now.”

Suddenly, there was a short cry, and a flurry of activity.

“Here’s your baby girl!” the doctor said, holding her up just high enough for me to see her for one short minute before a nurse whisked her away. “Congratulations Mom and Dad!”

“You want me to go?” Steven asked. I nodded, and he took the camera over to where the nurses were cleaning and weighing our daughter.

“Oh my God!” Steven exclaimed, as he snapped photo after photo. “She looks just like Beau! And she’s got a ton of black hair!”

I craned my neck and could just see her tiny red feet waving as she cried. The nurses swaddled her snugly and handed her to Steven. I almost laughed at loud at how gingerly he held her as he walked over to me.

I stared in awe at her tiny, perfect face.

“Hi Cadence,” I whispered, kissed her soft white cheek. “Hi my baby. We’ve been waiting for you.”

Steven and I smiled at each other, and at our tiny daughter. Then it was time for the nurses to take her and Steven to the nursery while the doctors finished my surgery. Lying on the table, staring up at the bright white ceiling, I smiled to myself as I tried to imagine what our lives would be like now that Cadence was part of them.

Sitting here now, four whole years later, all I can say is that life has gotten infinitely better.

First, there was a year of firsts for all of us. There were first steps, first words, a first tooth, a first bloody boo-boo. Steven and I were pooped on for the first time, puked on for the first time, and got sick as a family for the first time. We slept through the night for the first time, heard that infectious baby laughter for the first time, and have gotten so frustrated we had to put Cadence down and let her cry for the first time. We took our first road trip vacation, traveled on our first airplane, and mastered walking in a first pair of shoes. We saw the first of many unique dance moves, tried dozens of first foods, and wished our beautiful baby girl Happy Birthday for the very first time.

And since that first birthday party in 2011, life has only gotten more interesting. Our tiny baby has grown into a sweet, sassy preschooler who wakes every morning, singing and bouncing to get up and go conquer the world…or at least start the day with a concert, blasting her favorite songs on the iPad and singing along. And the favorites these days are Try by Pink, Hold On by Alabama Shakes, Firework by Katy Perry, and I’ll Stick Around  and These Days by the Foo Fighters.

Girl has a style all her own, and we love it.

We started to notice last year that Cadence is a force to be reckoned with. She has some strong opinions and she’s not afraid to make them known. She’s a stubborn little chicky with a mind all her own, and even if I sometimes lose my temper in the midst of a battle of wills, I can’t help but burst with pride knowing that my little spitfire is going to be the sort of girl who refuses to let anything stand in the way of what she really wants.

Yet even if she has a stubborn streak 10 miles long, Cadence is one of the sweetest, kindest, most genuine souls I have the pleasure of knowing. She loves to see people happy. She is kind to her friends at school. She is always happy to share (even when chocolate is involved). And she will do just about anything to lighten a mood and make people laugh.

Last week, we attended her preschool parent/teacher conferences and received a glowing report. Steven and I sat smiling so hard our faces hurt as we listened to Cadence’s teacher talking about what a wonderful little person she’s becoming. She’s smart as a whip, rocking her assessment test by reciting all of her colors, shapes, numbers all the way up 30, upper and lowercase letters of the alphabet, spelling her name and even starting to write it. She love to sing in the classroom and music class, and loves to exercise in gym. And apparently she is “geared for management” because she is always mindful that the rest of the kids are doing what they are supposed to.

She’s a dirt-loving tomboy who can go from tearing around the backyard in a pair of dirty jeans and sneakers to gliding daintily around the house in a dress and slippers in six seconds flat. She loves sports and snuggling, movies and music. She can spend hours painting or running around in the sunshine. She has a wicked sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic, acting out favorite scenes from her favorite movies and TV shows until she gets it just right. She even rocked the end of her Christmas program by raising her little arms up to the heavens as she belted out the last note of the Alleluia chorus.

Yeah, that’s our girl. 🙂

She knows the words to more songs than I can count, everything from Skidamarink and Twinkle, Twinkle Shining Star to Castle on a Cloud and Do You Hear the People Sing? from Les Miserables to the Foo Fighters and AC/DC and the most recent favorite Hold On by Alabama Shakes. She loves sitting on the front porch swing and eating apples or popsicles. She loves jumping on beds, off the couch, and into mud puddles. She loves school and reading and watching cartoons and movies and going out to eat in restaurants. She loves life and laughter and chocolate.

She’s amazing.

And every single day, I feel infinitely blessed that I get to be her mother.

It’s been four years of craziness filled with laughter, tears, frustrations, surprises (both good and bad), sleepless nights, early mornings, trial and errors, bumps, bruises, triumphs, failures, new beginnings, changes, road trips, lazy days at home, a whole lot of memories, and a whole lot of fun.

And here’s to many more!

Happy 4th Birthday, Cadence LaRue!









I Am Officially Obsessed

I’ve always had a thing for music. I love to sing (usually badly and loudly along with the radio). I’ve played drums since I was in 3rd grade, and always wanted to learn to play more instruments. And I’m the type of person that needs to have music playing pretty much 24 hours a day.

Sure I have a few favorites–Meat Loaf, Poe, Heart, Reba McEntire, Pink–but for me, loving a particular song or style of music has always been more about what it says to me, what I’m feeling, and, of course, a really great beat.

Enter Karmin.

So, I first heard Karmin’s Brokenhearted on the radio a few weeks ago. It caught my attention right away because it was peppy, upbeat, the kind of song you could have a blast singing along to. Add that to the fact that the lead singer has an incredibly beautiful voice and I was hooked. I actually found myself spinning the radio dials every time I got in the car, hoping I might hear it again (because of course, I had no idea what or who it was at the time).

Eventually, I managed to find the video by searching YouTube.


And of course, Cadence and I had a singing/dancing party in the living room to celebrate.

But, even more exciting, I found that lead singer Amy Heideman is originally from Seward, Nebraska, and that she and partner Nick Noonan have spent the past few years posting videos of both original and cover songs on YouTube.

Seriously, the amount of talent these two have is mind-blowing. Don’t believe me? Search “Karmin” on YouTube and prepare to spend the next few hours clicking through their video library.

Nick has a great voice and an immense amount of musical talent and Amy, well Amy’s got one of those voices that you can’t help but stop and listen to. Unlike so many other popular singers these days, (ahem…Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, etc.) Amy doesn’t need any fancy studio equipment or auto-tuning to make her sound good. She’s got an incredibly original sound and an immense amount of talent.

Oh, and she raps. That’s right folks. Even white girls from Seward, Nebraska can rap. 🙂

So yes, I am officially obsessed and I’m proud of it. If you’re not familiar with Karmin yet, what the hell are you waiting for. Here’s the video for Cadence and my current favorite…

365 Project – Day 244 – I Don’t Hate Pink…

I’m sure that statement comes as quite a shock to all of you, but it’s the truth. I don’t “hate” pink. In fact, for a brief period my sophomore year of college, I had pink hair–Atomic Pink to be exact–and it was glorious. So no, I don’t exactly hate pink. I do have issues though.

My problem with pink is really two-fold.

1. I don’t look good in pink. I don’t know if it’s just the fact that I’ve never been a girlie girl and never felt comfortable wearing it, or if I just don’t have the right skin tone to pull it off, but it’s just plain awful. Having Atomic Pink hair is one thing–really, you can’t go wrong there, especially when you’re just a crazy college kid. But actually going out and picking out dresses and outfits in patterns of pretty pink? No way man, not my cup of tea. I was always more of a red, black, purple and blue sort of girl.

2. Pink is forced down girls’ throats from birth. If you don’t believe me, head over to your local Babies ‘R Us or Target store and check out the baby clothes. Or hell, even try googling toys, clothes, bedding, blankets or any other accessories you can think of. Boys’ are blue. Girls’ are pink. And any brand trying to remain gender neutral falls back on good ol’ green or yellow. Pink stars, pink heart, pink ribbons, pink emroidery, pink shoes, pink socks, pink lace, pink blankets, pink sheets, pink sippy cups. The madness never ends. I don’t mind my daughter wearing pink or having some pink things, but I don’t want to open the door to her room or her closet and have it look like a giant Pepto Bismol bottle exploded in there. That’s where I draw the line.

When Steven and I found out we were having a baby girl, everyone I knew gave me a a hard time. Some people went out of their way to buy Cadence pink outfits and toys, thinking that it would drive me nuts. Others made a very concerted effort to avoid buying any pink for Cadence at all. Honestly, it doesn’t matter much to me. Cadence is cute, whether she’s wearing pink or not. When I’m out buying clothes for her, I’m looking at more of the style and the fit than the color.

Cadence has recently grown out of every pair of shoes she owns except the Converse sneakers we bought her last month (and guess what, they’re pink!), and I needed to make sure she had a pair of easy access velcro shoes to wear to the airport when we fly out to Phoenix on Sunday. It’s going to be a big enough pain getting the diaper bag, sippy cups of milk, stroller and all of my camera gear through the security screening. The last thing I need is to be holding up the line trying to get a stubborn pair of lace up sneakers off and on my squirming toddler. We were heading to Walmart anyway to pick up some dog treats for Electra, so I figured I would just find a cheap pair while we were there. No use dropping a large chunk of change on a pair of shoes she is likely to grow out of in two months.

All I wanted was a simple white or black pair of velcro shoes that Cadence could wear through the airport and with her Husker outfits. So, we headed over to the kids’ shoe aisle for a look, and here’s what we found…

Pink and white. White and pink. White with pink stripes and flowers. White with pink hearts and beads. Pink with white stripes.

Silver and pink. Silver, black and pink. Pink with bunny faces and bows. Brown and pink. Pink and brown. White, brown and pink. Shiny pink with silver sparkles.

Shiny silver and pink flowers. Black, blue and pink. Hot pink. Light pink. Purple and pink Hello Kitty.

Shiny pink. Sparkly pink. Pink with rhinesteones. Pink and white Dora the Explorer shoes. Black with pink flowers.

Really? I mean really??? All the way up one side of the aisle and down the other. Pink. Pink. Pink. Pink. PINK!!!

I was starting to hate pink.

So, I did the only thing I could. I bought Cadence a pair of cute black boys’ shoes.

And let me tell you, they are going to look ADORABLE with her Husker cheerleader outfit. 😉

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