Everything’s Coming Up Roses

It took several weeks, but my allergies seem to have finally abated. Thank God. I’m not sure how much more I could have taken. Funny thing is, our yard is still in bloom with something new every day. It’s fun to see what sprouts up next, and now that some of the early blooms have died off in tandem with my allergies, I’m starting to narrow down just exactly who is the culprit. As of now, the flowering pear trees are my prime suspect, but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how the rest of the spring plays out.

In the meantime, it was nice to head outside for a little while today to take pictures of some of the new flowers without my head exploding. There is literally something blooming in just about every inch of our yard, and even though I’ve been too busy to even think about planting a garden this year, it looks as though we just might have a bumper crop of rhubarb, peaches, and grapes.

I can’t even tell you how ridiculously excited I am about the peaches and grapes! ūüôā

So, for your viewing pleasure, here are a few of the newest blooms I found today…

Something In My Yard Is Out To Get Me

Something in my yard is out to get me.

I sneezed over 78 times today. After that, I lost count. And leave it to my 2-year-old to laugh and make fun of me, running around the house and mimicking me while I’m in the midst of a violent sneezing fit. Little turd.

Apparently, I’m allergic to something. Bad part is, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like a game of nature-themed Clue outside right now, trying to figure out who’s the culprit. In my yard alone there are over¬†ten varieties of tulips,¬†seven varieties of daffodils,¬†eight varieties of roses, handrangeas, various ornamental grasses, a peach tree, a magnolia tree,¬†a lilac bush, grape vines, ornamental pear blossoms, and several dozen other plants and assorted foliage that I can’t even begin to identify. Hell, the only reason I knew the items on the list above is because the former owners left¬†behind a list of some of the things they planted.

And right now, everything is blooming.

I didn’t always have allergies. Growing up, I never remember having any issues. Except for the occasional cold or flu, and one bout of mono that landed me in the hospital for three days the summer before my sophomore year of high school, I was a pretty healthy kid. I never even had the chicken pox!

It wasn’t until my college years that I began to suffer seasonal allergies.¬†Just about the time that the prettiest flowers started blossoming, my sinuses would revolt and close up tighter than a Venus Flytrap. Boy, I tell ya, there‚Äôs nothing sexier than a girl whose face is perpetually damp from the steady flow of liquid draining from both eyes and nostrils. Add a layer of redness¬†around the nose, bloodshot eyes, and enough phlegm to fill a small bathtub¬†and I start looking like one of the animated corpses from The Walking Dead.

I¬†thought it must be something on the East coast–some sort of tree or flower that I just wasn’t used to, sending my sinuses into overdrive–but even now, after moving to Arizona and settling back in Nebraska, the allergies return like clockwork every spring.

Damn you beautiful foliage! I love you, but my clogged head hates you. Can’t we strike a truce?

Until then, I’ll pop a Zyrtec (no more make-me-jittery-and-keep-me-all-night-clenching-my-teeth-ClaritinD for me thanks), and pray that I can make it through another spring without sneezing so hard I pop a blood vessel.

Wish me luck.

Excavation 2012 – Day #11 – No Sign of Intelligent Plant Life

If my track record for keeping a plant alive was any indicator at how successful I would be as a parent or a dog owner, I’m sure that CPS or the ASPCA would probably have me at the top of some kind of watch list. Luckily, I seem to be much more adept at taking good care of things that can move and make audible¬†(and sometimes annoying)¬†noises when they are hungry or thirsty or in dire need a diaper change. A plant will just sit there and suffer in silence, right up until it’s leaves wither and fall off. And usually by the time I start to notice that something is seriously wrong, it’s already too late.

Some people would argue that plants are actually easier to care for. After all, unlike kids and pets,¬†plants actually¬†come with instructions. Yet, even when I follow the instructions to the letter, I manage to somehow screw it up. Hell, I’m the girl that¬†once killed a cactus. I don’t even know how that happened. I did everything the directions said–placed it in the window where it would get lots of sun, watered it sparingly. Then, one day, I went to touch one of the spines and the entire cactus disintegrated. It literally crumbled and turned to dust, just like the scene at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when the crazy Nazi chooses poorly and drinks out of the wrong cup.

Poor cactus. Never stood a chance.

Since then, I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have a green thumb, and I am resolved to simply enjoy plant life outdoors in its natural environment where it belongs (or occasionally in my salad bowl). But, now that we have a yard big enough, I do plan to try my hand at growing some fruits and vegetables, so we will have to see how that goes. And things will start to get interesting around here come spring, since the previous owners of our house put a lot of time and effort into landscaping the yard. I can only hope that the flowers and plants are hearty enough to withstand my idiocy.

This little fella, however, did not fare so well, though I can say with a clear conscious that this was not my fault. The owners left him behind when they moved out and put the house on the market back in April, and by the time we moved in at the end of November, he was already gone.

Sorry little guy. You fought the good fight. It’s time now to rest in peace and stop dropping your dead leaves on my couch.

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