Nothing can throw a wrench in your plans like having kids.
Now before you get all Supernanny Mary Poppins crazy on me, let me explain.
I’m not talking about having a “Holy shit! I’m pregnant! My life is over! What am I gonna do?” moment. And I’m certainly not saying that I hate kids. Quite the contrary. I love kids. I love my kid. But I would like to go on record and say that kids–those adorable little bundles of unbridled energy–are a freakin’ mess, and they are absolutely hardwired to make a task as simple as going to the grocery store into an Olympic event.
Some days, you’re lucky to even make it out the door.
You’re in a hurry, already running late, and they decide it’s time to fill their diapers with something that smells like the place where death must surely go to die. You have an early morning meeting or a big project due and they decide to have what sounds like a Bachelor Party-style house party in their room down the hall. You finally make it out the door and into the car and the screaming starts because you forgot the sippy cup or the favorite toy or because it just feels good to see how long and how loud they can scream before the run out of oxygen and pass out in their carseats.
Today was one of those days.
My goal today–besides making it through Day 4 of my Insanity workout, Day 3 of this photo blog project, and catching up on a little correspondence– was to get the Christmas decorations put away.We’ve hit the point where our dry, sagging Christmas tree still sitting in our living room is getting depressing. Plus, Cadence’s new art easel from Santa has been patiently waiting to take its spot. The dead needles are piling up on the floor. Our Yoda topper is drunkenly leaning to the left, and I fear one of these days he’s going to unexpectedly drop into my lap.
Oh Christmas Tree, it’s been lovely having you, but I’m afraid it’s time to go.
Yes, today I was optimistic that I could put Cadence down for a good nap (she’d gone to bed late and gotten up early, so I figured it would be a piece of cake), and then I could tackle the tree and have it ready to haul out by the time Steven got home from work.
Cadence had other plans…
She started out singing along with Castle on a Cloud and then Please Read the Letter as they came up on her Ipod. There were a few moments of silence, before she launched into a few verses of Old McDonald Had a Farm. After that came the jumping–20 or so minutes of bouncing so hard I was waiting for her crib to fall through the ceiling and land in the middle of the kitchen. Shortly after the bouncing stopped, she started chattering to her stuffed animals, which quickly led to her acting out scenes from Toy Story and Cinderella. About the time she got to the scene where Cinderella gets locked in the tower by her evil Stepmother, Cadence decided that she, like Cinderella, just wanted out.
“Mommy! Mommy! MOOOMMMMEEEEEEEE!”
And then, she really got into character…
“Oh, let me out! Please let me out! You can’t keep me in here!” Over and over and over, punctuated by bouts of fake sobbing and an occasional break to bounce around in the crib again.
I tell you, folks, if she keeps this up, she’s a shoe-in for an Academy Award someday.
I was just checking the clock and deciding that she had about two more minutes of shenanigans before it was time to give up completely on today’s nap and pray we could make it through the evening without an epic, overtired meltdown, when I noticed the tide beginning to turn. And, as I finish this post, I can finally hear her winding down. Club Cadence has closed for the afternoon and my tired girl is settling in to sing a few last songs to her animals before finally giving in for a nap.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get this tree done yet.
I’m still optimistic.
Lori Romano 