Faith

I wasn’t sure I was going to get a blog post written tonight. Things are a little crazy around here lately (um…yeah…always). But even if we tend to live in a constant state of chaos, things have been a little more chaotic than usual with the kids and Cadence’s activities and work obligations and sickness and all the other little things that just sort of pop up out of nowhere and seem to suck hours right out of our days.

Hell, I was having a hard time even remembering what day it was today. They’re all sort of running into each other at this point.

Yet even with everything that is going on and pulling us in a million different directions and stretching us so very, very thin, I have faith.

Yes, I have faith in God, and yet that’s not all I’m really talking about here (although that is an important part of it all, now isn’t it?). I have faith that we will get through all of this. I have faith that we will get things done. I have faith that we will be able to be strong when we need to. I have faith that one of these days, Mr. Henry is going to start going down for the night and sleeping consistently instead of dragging us along on this rollercoaster of exhaustion that keeps him fussing and waking every 45 minutes or so after we try to put him to bed.

Philosopher Alan Watts once said, “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.”

It can be the hardest thing, to let go and trust that you will be able to keep your head above water when every cell in your body is screaming to thrash and fight and SWIM DAMMIT! But forcing yourself to just keep swimming, just keep swimming when you’re paddling so furiously against the current, well folks, that’s a very good way to drown. It takes courage and strength and a helluva resolve, but sometimes, many times, just closing your eyes and taking a deep breath and giving yourself up to float is the only way to survive.

Out here now, in the deep with so many miles yet to go, maybe it’s time to relax and float. We’ll get where we’re going. Just gotta have faith.